I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
