Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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