Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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