your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
