Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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