So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
