Pappa wants mamma naked
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
