im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
