guys are not supposed to queef...right?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
