Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
