I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
