How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
