Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Randomize
