Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
