I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Alive.
So much puke
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
