Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Floor bacon is actually really good
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
