Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
