I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
