He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sorry about my life...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
