I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
