Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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