guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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