Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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