just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
