Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
