I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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