Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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