the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
