okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
