sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
