He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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