Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
