don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
