what day is it and did you see me today?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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