Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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