Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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