She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
