So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
