i jhust puked up my retainher.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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