i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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