yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The beer is more important than you right now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
