Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
