nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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