Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
