There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
