She just used a chaser for red wine.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The air was thick with penises
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
