Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
