He is such a slut. More and more my type.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
