God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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