I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
