I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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