Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
