Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's blow job season.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
